It took me all day to finally sit down and read the details; just seeing the headlines made my heart sink.
If I don’t see it or hear it or think about it maybe, maybe it won’t be true. Maybe it can go away.
But it doesn’t.
And as the day goes on and the details emerge, a familiar ache makes it way up my spine and lands itself, once again, in the corners of my heart.
And deep inside me, hidden from the world, my soul drops to it’s knees and screams.
There is no question of “Why?” within me. There is no wondering. There is only sorrow.
I know why.
But that doesn’t ease the pain and it doesn’t erase the horror.
The Las Vegas shooting didn’t touch me personally so I can afford the luxury of looking at it from the side and only exposing a part of my heart to the nightmare. But too many don’t have that luxury. They are suffering anguish difficult to fully process and they can’t go on with their day because the horror is their day.
But, it hits too close to home.
I can write about Egypt and Syria and other places, but the USA? It’s harder, it hurts more.
And I’m angry.
The anger and sadness twist together like a jumbled messy root within me until the one cannot exist without the other because…
Because I know why.
And the knowing…its what drives the anger inside me.
I know who the enemy is … and I hate him.
And, what he is capable of is awful.
The Devil is in the shootings. There is no other reason. It is evil. It is destruction. It is wickedness. It is vicious and vile.
And what will we do about it? What can we do about it?
It feels like the fighting among us starts immediately.
We fight over gun control issues, and the news giving attention to the shooter, and we forward our anger and helplessness onto other scapegoats that make us feel useful. We fight about religion and politics.
Will it be one more thing that further divides us?
Or can we come together and be united? Can we mourn and pray together? Will we set aside the differences and care for those affected as they try to put the pieces back together over the coming months?
The verse that keeps coming to my mind is this:
They have healed the hurt of the daughter of my people slightly, saying, “peace, peace,” But, there is no peace. Jeremiah 6:14
Peace. That is what I want for America, not just physical peace but more importantly, spiritual peace. But if things keep going this way then there will be no peace and that grieves me.
And I want hope.
Let us never give up hope.
Hope that God will heal our land. Because He can.
If, my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, Then I will hear from heaven, and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14
Let’s be clear. This call is NOT for the non-believers. This is specifically a call to those who already follow Yahweh.
We need to repent of our wicked ways! Of hypocrisy, of being ashamed of our faith, of compromise, of idolatry, of pride, of loveless hearts…
We do! Christians do! I do!
We need to seek God and humble ourselves before the God we claim to worship and then He will heal our land. It’s time to stop pointing the finger; it is time to look at our own hearts. It is time to ask God to purify us and burn off the chaff and the dirt on us.
Then we can be:
“clothed with strength and dignity and laugh without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25
Dear Christian, if you find yourself wanting to place blame then it is time to look in the mirror because most of us haven’t prayed enough.
It is time to repent and to pray and it is time to stop fighting. Not because it will take away the atrocities already committed but because it can heal our land if we do and because it can prevent further depravity.
God can heal our land. He alone can put evil in it’s place but we have to come together and seek God in unity. We have to ask God to reveal in us our own deficits and repent of those. The evil things don’t happen because we are being punished but because when we push God away, eventually, he gives us what we want. Life apart from his blessing and protection and requirements. Yes, things will probably get worse, but it is not up to us to decide God’s timeline. We are called to repent, pray and love.
But, do we really want to worship God?
Do we care enough to become humble before Him?
Do we care enough to put our differences aside and simply love God and love people?
Do we care enough to honestly examine our hearts and repent and beg God to heal our land?
Because if we do, then He will.
He will! But it starts with us deciding who we want to worship and who we want to run to. God? Or ourselves?
How many times does someone reject you before you let them go? It’s the same with God. He doesn’t want a part time relationship. He doesn’t want to be called on only when we need something, He wants to walk with us daily.
I want healing for Las Vegas, I want healing for The United States, I want healing for our souls and hearts.
My heart is for our people. My heart is for Vegas. My heart is for healing. My heart is for God. My heart is for prayer. Why?
Because, I can never stop believing that God is good and that the evil we do to each other breaks His heart.
And, I can never give up hope that in the end, good will prevail and that redemption will win.
And when evil strikes, I cling to my faith in God because He is the source of my hope.
Dear Vegas, Dear America,
I’m sorry. I am so very sorry.
My heart grieves with you.
Author: Jacqi Kambish